Whistler [A sequel to The Chronicles of Hawklan] Page 38

  'Horld,’ Vredech gasped, his voice awash with relief. ‘Horld, thank Ishryth it's you. I thought—I don't know. I ...’ He stumbled into silence.

  'Is that Brother Vredech?’ Horld said incredulously. ‘Allyn, what in pity's name are you doing here? And what was all that noise? I came up to meditate in the silence only to find someone bawling like a market-trader. What...?’ But Vredech was staggering across the rocks towards him, a single question dominating him. Horld caught him as he staggered and almost fell.

  'Where is Cassraw?’ Vredech demanded urgently.

  Horld looked at him, the moonlight deepening the lines on his worried face. ‘I've no idea,’ he said. ‘Calm yourself, Allyn, please. He's probably down at the Haven Meeting House, haranguing whoever's there—the more gullible members of his flock. Sad to say, some of our own Preaching Brothers.’ He curled his lip in distaste. ‘And doubtless his precious Knights of Ishryth.'

  Vredech tore free from Horld's grip and turned away to hide his face, fearful of what might be read there. Relief and awful shock filled him equally. Relief that the past weeks had not been some bizarre nightmare, yet shock at this confirmation that they, and thus the last few hours, had actually happened. Where then was Nertha? His insides tightened into a unbearably painful knot.

  'I heard you were at Cassraw's circus today. Passed out with the heat, I believe,’ Horld said. His bluntness helped Vredech to recover himself a little.

  'It was bad,’ he said, forcing himself to straighten up and maintain some semblance of a normal conversation. ‘I came here to think about it, like you. Were you there?'

  Horld shook his head. ‘No, I've better things to do on Service Day. Sent a novice, though. Came back babbling and wide-eyed. Had to give him a rare roasting to bring his feet back to earth again. I can't imagine what Cassraw's up to, Allyn. It's almost as if he's ...’ He stopped.

  Vredech turned back to him sharply. ‘Possessed?’ he said.

  Horld seemed reluctant to accept the word now that it had been spoken, but he could not reject it either. Vredech seized his own courage and risked touching near his concerns. ‘When we came out that day, looking for Cassraw, I stumbled, had a brief fainting fit, do you remember?’ Horld paused for a moment, then nodded but did not speak. Vredech peered into the dark shadows of his eyes. ‘Tell me what you felt as you saw me fall,’ he said softly, but with great insistence.

  Horld attempted a dismissive shrug, but his manner was uneasy. Vredech pushed. ‘Please, Horld,’ he insisted. ‘It's important.'

  Horld coughed awkwardly. Vredech gripped his arms earnestly and abandoned caution. ‘You've been troubled ever since that day, haven't you? Or you wouldn't have sent out your novice to listen to Cassraw, nor come trailing up here to meditate. I'm offering you no insult when I say that of the many kinds of Preaching Brother you are, contemplative is not one. Tell me what you felt.'

  Horld looked away from him then seemed to reach a decision. ‘I thought I saw something, heard something. It's hard to explain. There were shadows moving about, voices clamouring, and something unpleasant seemed to pass by me. I don't know. It was all very fleeting, like blue flames dancing over the coals. In so far as I thought about it at all, I imagined it was just the darkness, concern for Cassraw ... and for you.’ He straightened up and cleared his throat. ‘It's all foolishness,’ he muttered.

  Relief was flooding through Vredech. ‘No!’ he said urgently. ‘Foolishness is the last thing it is. I saw those shadows, too, Horld. Heard those awful voices. Something evil came with those black clouds, something that took possession of Cassraw.'

  Once, Horld would have dismissed such a notion out of hand, giving whoever had suggested it the benefit of a memorably caustic rebuttal. That he did not speak at once, and that his posture reflected his uncertainty told Vredech much. Frantic for allies now, he gave the older man no opportunity to be brought back to comforting normality by the momentum of his everyday thinking.

  'After you survived that fire at your forge, you were touched by something, weren't you?’ he said. ‘Something you couldn't put into words but which was strong enough to make you leave everything you'd ever known and turn to another life. Well something's touched Cassraw also, and is turning him to another life. You felt ... you knew ... that it was Ishryth touching you after that fire, and I'm more than inclined to call whatever's touched Cassraw, Ahmral. But the name doesn't matter. What does matter is that both you and I felt it, and Cassraw seems to have gone almost insane since he went to the heart of it.’ He shook Horld's arm before too many doubts could form around the name Ahmral. ‘Think back. Remember what Cassraw was like when he came out of the darkness and took hold of us both. And his strange, arrogant manner until I opposed him at the door of the Debating Hall and he collapsed. Remember! Remember it all!'

  'I don't know what to think,’ Horld said eventually, his manner agitated. ‘Almost every part of me says you're talking nonsense, but the tiny part that doesn't is shouting louder than all the rest put together.’ Abruptly, he began walking away. ‘I need time to think.'

  'You'll reach no conclusions,’ Vredech said starkly. ‘Ishryth knows, I haven't, and I've been wrestling with it for months now. Just remember Cassraw on that day and since, remember what you felt and, in the name of pity, remember this conversation.’ A thought occurred to him. ‘And perhaps ask yourself what prompted you to climb the mountain so that we could meet thus.'

  Horld turned back and looked at him. Vredech sensed a debate about to start, but he could not afford it. Not only would it be fruitless, for despite Horld's partial acceptance of what he had said, he still could not tell him everything that had happened. Worse, the inner frenzy about what had happened to Nertha, contained so far only by his need to seem calm in front of his colleague, was threatening to take complete possession of him at any moment.

  'I've no answers to all this,’ he said, barely managing to keep his voice steady. ‘But, in any case, what Cassraw's doing is wrong by a score of the church's tenets, you know that. The least we can do is watch him and see that Mueran and the Chapter censure him properly, take steps to stop him.'

  Horld relaxed visibly at this simple practical suggestion.

  'I've been here longer than I intended,’ Vredech said hastily. ‘I've a lot to do. I'll leave you to your privacy.’ He paused and looked back at the flat-topped rock. The stain dominated his vision, darker by far than all the shadows that lay across the summit. ‘Could I ask a favour of you?'

  'Of course,’ Horld said.

  Vredech was about to ask him to say a prayer over the rock, when he remembered the painful futility of his own words as they had rebounded upon him, mocking his shattered faith. ‘While you're here, do as I asked you. Think again about what brought you into the church. Set aside your training and your studies, and all the words. Remember that touch which showed you the way.'

  Horld looked uncertain.

  'Please, Horld. Stay here and do this for me. It's important.’ Vredech felt his remaining control slipping. He had to get away. ‘You said you came here to meditate. You said you needed to think. I don't know what you're going to find, but where you found Ishryth is the only place to look.'

  There was a brief, agonizing silence, then Horld said, ‘I'll do as you ask, because you ask, Allyn. It'll do me no harm, for sure. But we must talk again, and soon. This is all very ...'

  'Mid-morn tomorrow at my Meeting House,’ Vredech interrupted, nodding purposefully. ‘We can talk the day into evening if we want.’ Then, with a cursory farewell, he began clambering down the rocks, fearful that Horld might attempt to prolong the conversation.

  As he looked back he saw that Horld, a shadow amongst the shadows now, was sitting on the rock, one foot pulled up on to it to support his arm and his head; an oddly youthful posture. He was gazing out across the moonlit valley.

  As Vredech paused to watch him, some small night-hunting animal scuttled across the rocks nearby, making him start violently. He set off down
the mountain again.

  Once away from the summit and his friend, his anxieties returned in full suffocating force, this time laden pitilessly with guilt. He had known that great forces were in play, so why had he let Nertha go up to the place where they were actually producing a physical manifestation? Why had he so rashly challenged it with his poor prayers? Why had he pushed Nertha into using her own unsure healing skills to that same end? What had been that terrible noise? And, overriding all, incessant and unyielding in its grip on him, where had Nertha gone?

  Such a thing as had happened was not possible!

  Yet he had been transported bodily to some other world. And even to worlds within that world.

  Hadn't he?

  Fabric's torn, ‘fore all was born...

  For a timeless interval as his body carried him down the mountain towards the Witness House, Vredech's mind teetered at the edge of disintegration. The only thing that prevented it from shattering and scattering into the void in wretched imitation of the stars domed over him, and struggling with the moonlight for supremacy of the heavens, was the knowledge that Horld, too, had been touched by the presence that had invaded the mountain and taken possession of Cassraw.

  But even in this, barbed thoughts tore at him. Perhaps his meeting with Horld had been no more than another illusion generated in his failing mind.

  And for the span of an eternal heartbeat, darkness closed over him and he was falling.

  Lost...

  'There's nothing wrong with your sanity.'

  'Nothing can stand that kind of scrutiny.'

  'Not answerable. Don't ask.'

  'No alternative but to accept what you see—here, now.'

  'No alternative ...'

  'No alternative ...'

  Nertha's words wrapped themselves about him, soothing even though they could not heal, holding together what was striving to break, holding him to here, to now.

  Holding him...

  And Horld, heat-scarred and solid, furnace-bronzed and anvil-weighted. He could be nothing but here, now.

  Mid-morn tomorrow...

  A fixed point.

  Cold night air rushed through him, like an icy mountain stream, and with it came clear night vision, showing him familiar mountains etched sharp in the moonlight, and the silver-damp roof of the Witness House below him.

  It was beautiful.

  All about him was beautiful. In the least and the greatest of Ishryth's work there lay beauty. All that was needed was the vision to see it.

  Then came an inner knowledge, a realization that whatever had happened at the summit had not been the doing of that invading presence; it had been his! Some part of him had moved to protect Nertha. Somewhere, Nertha was safe.

  Vredech gazed at the moonlight bouncing brightly off the roof of the Witness House. A calmness came over him. He tried to resist it. Nertha transported to Ishryth alone knew what limbo by some unknowing act of his, and he was feeling euphoric! It was obscene. He should be frantic, he should be thinking where he could turn to search for her, what books he could consult, what learned scholars, what ancient manuscripts...

  But still he was calm.

  He put a hand to his eyes, for the moonlight was becoming unbearable.

  'Too bright,’ he said.

  'Oh!'

  The soft cry, laden with relief, was followed by arms wrapping themselves about him, holding him chokingly tight. ‘You're back, you're back. Thank Ishryth.’ The voice became reproachful. ‘You frightened me half to death. What do you think you were ...’ The question remained unfinished, and the embrace tightened further.

  Vredech gently eased the clenching arms apart and, eyes blinking in the sunlight, reached up.

  'Nertha,’ he said, touching her face. ‘You're all right?'

  'Of course I'm all right,’ came the reply. Nertha released him and bent forward to look into his face. Her expression was a mixture of deep concern and shrewd penetration. ‘And so are you, it seems,’ she declared. But the concern dominated. ‘What happened? What did you do?'

  Vredech reached out and touched her face again. ‘I thought I'd lost you,’ he said.

  Nertha took his hand, kissed it, then pressed it back against her cheek. It was not a sister's kiss. ‘And I you,’ she said simply, meeting his gaze.

  Then the moment was gone, pushed aside by the torrent of questions demanding answers. Vredech clambered to his feet. He was still at the summit, a little way from the stained boulder. And he had with him the calmness that had come to him when he had looked out over the moonlit valley and the glistening roof of the Witness House ... only moments ago?

  'What did you do?’ Nertha asked again.

  'Do?'

  'Yes—do!’ Nertha said, a tension in her voice that he had never heard before. ‘I was trying to heal that thing,’ she waved towards the rock, ‘and feeling more than a little foolish, I might add, when something just swept me up. Took possession of me.’ Her face twitched and she shuddered violently. ‘It was awful. I haven't the words for it. Cold, inhuman—I was nothing to it. A barely adequate tool—a channel. And yet it was viciously cruel at the same time. Delighting in pain, in terror. I could do nothing. Even while it was happening, I couldn't believe it. It wasn't possible. It isn't ...'

  Vredech brought his finger to his lips for silence. ‘I understand,’ he said. ‘I, above all, understand. You know that, don't you? Just tell me what happened. What did I do?'

  Nertha looked surprised. ‘You called out to me. I heard your voice or ... felt it ... full of anger, goading it. Then there was a terrible noise—for want of a better word—and whatever it was that held me was torn away. Torn away completely. When I opened my eyes you were lying there sprawled across the rock, unconscious.'

  'And?'

  'I didn't know what to do. I was trembling all over—still am. Shock, I suppose.’ She shook herself as if sloughing a cumbersome coat. ‘You didn't seem to be hurt. It was more as though you were asleep—dreaming. Except I couldn't wake you. I managed to drag you over here, out of the sun. Checked you again. Paced up and down, like an apprentice nurse on her first night duty.’ Her voice was full of self-reproach. Vredech took her hands. ‘I should've gone for help right away, but ... I didn't want to leave you ... in case you recovered and had lost your memory, or something.’ Her voice faded away weakly.

  Vredech wanted to ease her pain, but could find no words that would reach through their deep knowledge of one another. He squeezed her hands gently. ‘How long was I unconscious?’ he asked.

  'Half an hour or so, I think. I was just plucking up courage to leave you and go for help, when you just woke up.’ She closed her eyes and grimaced.

  'Are you all right?'

  Nertha suddenly pulled her hands free with an oath. ‘No, I'm not,’ she shouted. ‘Ye gods, I'm not. I've just spent the most wretched half hour of my life.’ She struck her chest with her fist. ‘Me, a more than adequate physician, even if I shouldn't say it, fretting around, helpless and hopeless, as much use as a nun in a brothel.’ Vredech's eyebrows shot up and he raised a tentative priestly hand to stay the onslaught, but Nertha was gathering momentum. ‘And I'm a rational being, Allyn. What am I doing up a mountain trying to heal a rock?’ She kicked the stained boulder. ‘And battling with mythical demons that I don't believe in?'

  The questions were rhetorical, but he found himself answering them anyway.

  'You're doing what rational people do in such circumstances,’ he said. ‘You're accepting change, new boundaries to your thinking. And you're shouting because, like me, you're scared witless. Remember, nothing is to be feared, it is only to be understood.'

  'Don't you quote my quotations back at me, Allyn Vredech.'

  'Your quotation? I'd say it was more of a fundamental truth, wouldn't you?'

  He turned away before she could answer, and laid his hand on the rock. Nertha caught nervously at his elbow, but he shook his head reassuringly. ‘It's not the same,’ he said. ‘It's more distant.�
�� His expression became pained. ‘It's still there, though. Waiting. I think we've done something to it.’ He put his arm around her shoulder and turned her so that they were both looking out over the valley.

  'It's beautiful, isn't it?’ he said.

  Nertha made to look at him. ‘Allyn, how can you...?'

  He eased her back to the view. ‘Here, now, this is beautiful,’ he said. ‘The air in your lungs, the sun on your face, these hills ranged about us. All things change. If we value what we have while we have it, then any pain in the change is so much less.'

  Nertha made no sign but he felt some of the tension leave her.

  They stood for some time, motionless, watching the shadows of the clouds marching across the land. Then Nertha asked, ‘What happened to you when you were unconscious?’ adding uncertainly, ‘Did you meet your Whistler again?'

  'No,’ Vredech replied. ‘Someone else. Come on, let's get back to our horses and go home. There's nothing else we can do here.'

  As they descended the mountain, Vredech told of his encounter with Horld, in a world that both was and was not this one. He told her, too, of his near plunge into complete insanity. Nertha, seemingly herself again, stopped and looked at him purposefully. ‘We have a test then?’ she said, sternly logical despite the unsteadiness creeping into her voice.

  'Perhaps,’ Vredech replied flatly. ‘And, perhaps, an ally.'

  They completed the rest of their journey back to the Witness House in silence. As they were walking up the path towards the main door, it swung open and Horld emerged. He seemed unusually agitated, and started visibly when he saw Vredech.

  Vredech walked to the foot of the steps and looked up at Horld. He took a deep breath. ‘Mid-morn tomorrow at my Meeting House?’ he said.

  Horld unashamedly circled his hand about his heart. ‘Who are you?’ he said hoarsely, his eyes widening.

  'Who I seem to be, old friend,’ Vredech replied softly. ‘Don't be afraid. I think we need to talk, don't you? Were you about to leave?'

  Horld nodded and abruptly began answering questions that had not been asked. ‘I fell asleep in the reading room. I don't normally fall asleep in the day. I can't think what ... I wasn't even tired. I just ...’ He snapped his fingers. ‘Then it was night. And I needed to think. To be alone, and quiet.'